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Nella was 17 years old when she fell in love with a girl for the first time. They met through sport — something Nella had been passionate about since she was a young girl.

She was from a conservative Muslim family. Dating was not an option, let alone with a woman. Nella was born in the city of Bujumbura, the capital of Burundi.

The country, which is one of the world's poorest, is located in the African Great Lakes region. It has struggled to gain stability since the end of a civil war in , and when it does hit the international headlines, it's mainly this image that is portrayed.

When she was a teenager, Nella dreamed of going to university. But her family were constantly urging her to get married.

They would introduce her to members of the extended family, in the hope they could find a match. When her parents died, Nella's brothers increased the pressure.

There was no money for an education, they said, and besides they didn't believe a woman needed one. They knew of a rich man who was interested in her.

There was little time to lose, they insisted. At 20 she was getting on a bit. As a woman from a country like hers, Nella says her rights were already diminished.

The couple barely communicated and she dreaded intimacy. After the birth of her youngest child, Nella says she began to feel like the most isolated woman in the world.

She doesn't want to go into much detail about her marriage. She turned to social media and carried out searches for women who like women. Suddenly, she realised she was not alone.

What she discovered was that there is a shorthand, a secret code, that local lesbian women use to reach out to each other. It largely relies on internet shorthand, obscure symbols used by lesbians around the world.

Nella would send these images and emoticons to other women. Those in the know would respond. Buoyed by what she found, Nella began connecting with women online.

Women like her. Women who soon became her closest friends. In , her husband found out about these conversations and her marriage broke down.

He vowed to keep her sexuality a secret from the wider community for the sake of their children. We are just one part of it.

She was brought up by strict parents in a suburban neighbourhood of Bujumbura. She and her siblings had to be home earlier than their friends.

Niya had to dress conservatively and was expected to act in a demure way. Niya preferred friendships with boys but these never developed into crushes.

At 14, she became a Christian. Thinking that part of her faith meant that she should avoid dating, she put her lack of romantic interest in boys down to a commitment to God.

At 22, she met a woman who was also in her early 20s, through mutual friends. Bonding over their love of music, they formed a fast friendship.

Back at home, thinking about what had happened, Niya realised that she had feelings for her friend. The pair began to date in secret. It had nothing to do with religion.

Two years later, Niya felt she had to tell one person in her immediate family. She chose one of her brothers. She had looked up YouTube videos of lesbian vloggers in other parts of the world.

She watched films featuring same-sex couples and read a lot of reports on lesbian, bisexual and queer LBQ communities. She began to understand the language of the internet.

The BBC messaged Niya to tell her that we would be using images of a violet to illustrate the memes. We chose the symbol - which differs vastly from the symbols the women use - because lesbian women in the s were said to give violets to their girlfriends.

Watching the YouTube videos had confirmed to Niya that she was not alone. But where were the other gay women in Burundi? Leila had grown up in a loving, supportive middle-class family in Bujumbura city.

She was popular. She had a boyfriend. After months of thinking about her continuously, she needed to share her feelings. Leila texted the friend.

The two agreed to draw a line under the embarrassing episode. Relieved, Leila put her months of infatuation down to a phase. It had been a one-off crush, with one woman.

I cried. We convinced ourselves it was a phase. I said I would. So I dumped him and started dating a cute guy. But when he looked at her quizzically, she says the full realisation of who she is hit her.

I am a lesbian, Leila told herself. But she still hoped there would be a way out of it. She prayed. She meditated. She became angry with herself.

You have the moment when you realise that there is no going back. This is you. You are gay. Your plans and expectations for what you thought life would be need to adjust.

Then there is the second coming out, the public coming out, to the people around you. When she came out to herself, Leila began to look for other gay people.

She doubted there would be women like her in Burundi, but she searched videos on Facebook and YouTube seeking lesbians in other countries.

Initially her mother took it badly. But as the days passed she began to ask more questions. The family agreed that as a lesbian woman in Burundi, Leila was already in a vulnerable position.

They could protect her while she was in the family home, but they could not guarantee her safety outside if the wrong people found out. There was a shorthand, a recognition.

You become an expert in body language, eye contact. A meme we may have picked up from somewhere else, or a coded phrase. Nothing that anyone else outside the lesbian community would ever be able to pick up on.

Leila, Niya - and later Nella - formed a community. Some have support from their families. However, her contemporaries have confirmed that she was gay.

By that time, I was in my junior year of college and just beginning to accept my own sexuality. But it took years for me to admit it, even to myself, because of my conservative Evangelical upbringing and the heterosexual expectations that came with it.

In a way, I felt like Dana: completely in over my head in a world that could violently reject me, and struggling to reconcile what living truthfully in my identity would mean for me socially and personally, not to mention how it would affect my familial relationships.

And here I was, reading her most celebrated novel and connecting the dots from Butler and her characters to myself.

And for the record, that was a lot of Black history. I attended Black churches and Black schools that had Black teachers who were more than willing to incorporate some kind of Black history into every lesson they taught.

But alongside stories about people like Rosa Parks and Ida B. Wells, I learned another lesson: that all our heroes are straight.

There was Ruth Ellis , the first Black woman in Detroit to own a printing company with her partner, Babe. Together, they provided refuge to gay youths in their own home.

There was Barbara Jordan , the first Black congresswoman from the Deep South, who got shit done during the Watergate scandal and championed immigration reform in the s.

But few adults in my life were willing to talk to kids about the sexuality of our heroes. That Black gay people not only shaped history, but paved the way for a lot of their straight—and more famous—counterparts was withheld from me, and if my experience in one of the Blackest school districts in America was any indication, it was withheld from a lot of other Black children, too.

Homophobia played a part, of course. At home, at church, at the barbershop: being gay was something you hid out of fear of retaliation.

But sometimes the homophobia was passive.

Two black lesbian Two black lesbian

Those in the know would respond. Buoyed by what she found, Nella began connecting with women online. Women like her. Women who soon became her closest friends.

In , her husband found out about these conversations and her marriage broke down. He vowed to keep her sexuality a secret from the wider community for the sake of their children.

We are just one part of it. She was brought up by strict parents in a suburban neighbourhood of Bujumbura. She and her siblings had to be home earlier than their friends.

Niya had to dress conservatively and was expected to act in a demure way. Niya preferred friendships with boys but these never developed into crushes.

At 14, she became a Christian. Thinking that part of her faith meant that she should avoid dating, she put her lack of romantic interest in boys down to a commitment to God.

At 22, she met a woman who was also in her early 20s, through mutual friends. Bonding over their love of music, they formed a fast friendship.

Back at home, thinking about what had happened, Niya realised that she had feelings for her friend. The pair began to date in secret.

It had nothing to do with religion. Two years later, Niya felt she had to tell one person in her immediate family. She chose one of her brothers.

She had looked up YouTube videos of lesbian vloggers in other parts of the world. She watched films featuring same-sex couples and read a lot of reports on lesbian, bisexual and queer LBQ communities.

She began to understand the language of the internet. The BBC messaged Niya to tell her that we would be using images of a violet to illustrate the memes.

We chose the symbol - which differs vastly from the symbols the women use - because lesbian women in the s were said to give violets to their girlfriends.

Watching the YouTube videos had confirmed to Niya that she was not alone. But where were the other gay women in Burundi? Leila had grown up in a loving, supportive middle-class family in Bujumbura city.

She was popular. She had a boyfriend. After months of thinking about her continuously, she needed to share her feelings.

Leila texted the friend. The two agreed to draw a line under the embarrassing episode. Relieved, Leila put her months of infatuation down to a phase.

It had been a one-off crush, with one woman. I cried. We convinced ourselves it was a phase. I said I would.

So I dumped him and started dating a cute guy. But when he looked at her quizzically, she says the full realisation of who she is hit her.

I am a lesbian, Leila told herself. But she still hoped there would be a way out of it. She prayed.

She meditated. She became angry with herself. You have the moment when you realise that there is no going back. This is you.

You are gay. Your plans and expectations for what you thought life would be need to adjust. Then there is the second coming out, the public coming out, to the people around you.

When she came out to herself, Leila began to look for other gay people. She doubted there would be women like her in Burundi, but she searched videos on Facebook and YouTube seeking lesbians in other countries.

Initially her mother took it badly. But as the days passed she began to ask more questions. The family agreed that as a lesbian woman in Burundi, Leila was already in a vulnerable position.

They could protect her while she was in the family home, but they could not guarantee her safety outside if the wrong people found out. There was a shorthand, a recognition.

You become an expert in body language, eye contact. A meme we may have picked up from somewhere else, or a coded phrase. Nothing that anyone else outside the lesbian community would ever be able to pick up on.

Leila, Niya - and later Nella - formed a community. Some have support from their families. A few are married with children.

No-one is openly out. Burundi is well known in the Great Lakes for its vibrant nightlife. Bujumbura has fewer than , inhabitants, but maintains a vivid youth culture.

The city, with its colonial-era Art Deco buildings surrounding a market, a football stadium and places of worship, sits on the shores of Lake Tanganyika.

The country has been home to bouts of conflict since independence in But today, for many young people enjoying the nightlife in Bujumbura, those tensions feel another lifetime away.

Tourists from neighbouring Rwanda, Tanzania and the Democratic Republic of Congo can be found enjoying the nightlife in the clubs or the five-star hotel bars.

Leila, Niya, Nella and their friends would often meet at these places. In , the government signed into law a new criminal code penalising same-sex relations between consenting adults.

The BBC has spoken to dozens. There is little data, and there has been no large-scale collection of testimony, so it is almost impossible to get an accurate picture of their lives.

US government records say that a lesbian couple was arrested in but released. Other than that, little else is documented. Nella says she heard of women being killed in rural Burundi for being gay.

She also heard of a lesbian who was recently jailed in Bujumbura. The woman, while being a lesbian, was not arrested for her sexuality - the authorities were unaware of it, she believes.

It was because the woman had retaliated against domestic abuse in her family home, and lashed out against her abuser.

Leila thinks domestic abuse in families where a woman is suspected of being lesbian or bisexual is a big cause for concern. The group has heard of abuse as a result of sexuality but it is impossible to verify.

Often women withdraw their stories for fear of what might happen to them. Many members of the group say they have experienced violence at the hands of family members who became suspicious about their sexuality.

Nella is now divorced but others in the group remain married. Their husbands are not aware of their sexuality.

Although she never discussed her sexuality publicly, there have been differing opinions on her sexuality. However, her contemporaries have confirmed that she was gay.

By that time, I was in my junior year of college and just beginning to accept my own sexuality. But it took years for me to admit it, even to myself, because of my conservative Evangelical upbringing and the heterosexual expectations that came with it.

In a way, I felt like Dana: completely in over my head in a world that could violently reject me, and struggling to reconcile what living truthfully in my identity would mean for me socially and personally, not to mention how it would affect my familial relationships.

And here I was, reading her most celebrated novel and connecting the dots from Butler and her characters to myself. And for the record, that was a lot of Black history.

I attended Black churches and Black schools that had Black teachers who were more than willing to incorporate some kind of Black history into every lesson they taught.

But alongside stories about people like Rosa Parks and Ida B. Wells, I learned another lesson: that all our heroes are straight.

There was Ruth Ellis , the first Black woman in Detroit to own a printing company with her partner, Babe.

Together, they provided refuge to gay youths in their own home. There was Barbara Jordan , the first Black congresswoman from the Deep South, who got shit done during the Watergate scandal and championed immigration reform in the s.

But few adults in my life were willing to talk to kids about the sexuality of our heroes. That Black gay people not only shaped history, but paved the way for a lot of their straight—and more famous—counterparts was withheld from me, and if my experience in one of the Blackest school districts in America was any indication, it was withheld from a lot of other Black children, too.

Homophobia played a part, of course. At home, at church, at the barbershop: being gay was something you hid out of fear of retaliation.

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